i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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