So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
