It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Let's get the cat blown out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
