dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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