Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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