apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
