He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
