i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
