You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
