do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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