I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
