belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
