i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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