Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
