i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
is it fun? or sober?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
