I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I need water and some morals
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
