did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
