there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
