So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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