I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Randomize
