and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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