You're so nebulous sometimes
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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