you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
