No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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