normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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