Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
