I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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