I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
