Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
