All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
