dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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