the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
