so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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