Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
