If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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