I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
