READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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