Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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