He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
