were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
