Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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