She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
