I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
