Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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