This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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