if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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