it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
