Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
