my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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