She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
