Swine flu. Run for my life!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
